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Thursday, January 22, 2015

Lessons learned


On July 15, 2014 at the auspicious time of 9:59 am, my life changed forever as I became a mommy.  This adorable little monkey stole my heart as he made it grow in ways I never expected. I had so longed and dreamed for this day, in fact there were years when I thought it would never happen. So now I find myself in my late 30's as a first time mom, and learning a few lessons being a nanny and an auntie left out.

Sleep is overrated. Before I had my little guy, people told me "sleep now because you won't get any once the baby arrives". Well, that was a crock because with the hip pain and middle of the night runs to the bathroom started, I wasn't getting a full nights sleep. And now, I'm definitely not getting as much sleep as I'd like, but I'm amazed at how well I can function on a few hours here and there. Oh, and those super helpful people who tell you to 'sleep when the baby does', yeah, tell them you'll be happy to do that when they come over and cook a meal, vacuum your house, do some laundry, or scrub your toilet. 

My slow cooker is my new BFF. Building on that last point, if I do want a nap, something else has to give. By throwing a few ingredients in the slow cooker, I can (in a way) add an hour or so into my day. It's especially helpful when I find those recipes that don't need any pre-cooking - thank you Pinterest!  Also helpful? A spouse who is not a picky eater!

Mom groups are really helpful.  I have found my tribe and we live online (mostly). When your daily wardrobe consists of spit-up stained shirts and yoga pants while your hair is in a messy bun, the Internet and social media become a great outlet. However, it is good for all involved to get out every so often and see the sun, so groups like M.O.P.S. are a wonderful way to connect with other mommies and remember who you are as a person aside from your role as a mom.

Time is not a constant. How is this little darling 6 months old already? What, I've been a mom for six months?! The incredible phenomenon of time contracting and expanding at the same time has become my reality. Naps are never quite long enough for me to get done all that I expect, and the night is always too short for sleeping. The days pass too quickly. I'm not ready for him to be almost crawling. Where is my tiny little snuggle nugget? Who replaced him with this rolling, laughing, eating machine? And I have to consciously choose to not keep anticipating the next milestone... When will he sit up unassisted? Is he ready to crawl yet? No, time does not follow a linear pattern anymore. 

I love my husband differently. I'd heard all the tales about how having a child will change your marriage, your child's first year can be the worst year of a marriage, etc. So while pregnant I committed to keeping my husband and marriage a top priority. Because, let's face it, hopefully this kid will eventually leave the house, while I'm in a covenant relationship with my husband 'til one of us dies.  No, it's not easy to stay up a few extra hours to spend time exclusively with him, but it is worth it.  Watching him play with our little guy in the morning, this miniature version of him? Or the sight of the two of them watching sports? I'll pay any price for that. And he definitely racks up the "Husband of the Year" points when he stays up with the little guy at night so I can grab a nap to make it through. He's not just my husband anymore, he's my baby's daddy.

Character building starts now. As our little monkey has gotten closer to this 6 month milestone, we're seeing more and more personality, and therefore independent will, shine forth. And so the lessons of 'no' have begun - no hands in your mouth while you're eating, no hitting (or biting) mommy while nursing, no rolling while we're changing diapers, no killing mommy & daddy's brain cells with screeches.  Can he understand why? Not yet, but we begin now because a) it's for his benefit b) it makes life better for everyone and c) we want him to be a man of character more than we want to pacify his momentary happiness.


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